St. Mary Catholic Church

Youth Group - Jokes

Hello and welcome to the St. Mary Youth Group Joke page. These below are a few I have found to put up. If you know of a clean, appropiate joke that can be put up here contact me (Hannah Long) at hlong@stmarywilliamston.com . Enjoy!

This Week:

Drawing God

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the little girl replied, "They will in a minute."

Adam's Suit

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

"Momma, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the his voice, he answered, "It's Adam's Suit!"

Little Prayers

Dear God,

Thank you for my baby brother, but what I prayed for was a puppy.

Dear God,

I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.

Dear God,

If you watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show you my new shoes.

Dear God,

We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday School, we learned that you did it. So I bet he stole your idea.

Dear God,

Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own rooms. It works with my brother.

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts

The Pope, Billy Graham, and Oral Roberts were in a three-way plane crash over the Pacific Ocean. They all died and went to heaven together. "Oh, this is terrible," exclaims St. Peter, "I know you guys think we summoned you here, but this is just one of those coincidences that happen. Since we weren't expecting you, your quarters just aren't ready... We can't take you in and we can't send you back...."

Then he got an idea. He picked up the phone, "Lucifer, this is Pete. Hey, I got these three guys up here. They're ours, but we weren't expecting them, and we gotta fix the place up for 'em. I was hoping you could put them up for a while. It'll only be a couple of days. What d'ya say?"

Reluctantly, the Devil agreed.

However, two days later, St. Peter got a call.

"Pete, Lu. Hey, you gotta come get these three clowns. This Pope fellow is forgiving everybody, the Graham guy is saving everybody, and that Oral Roberts has raised enough money to buy air conditioning."

Power of Scirptures

An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop - Acts 2:38!" (..turn from your sin...) The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done.

As the officer cuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All the old lady did was yell a scripture to you."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar, "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!"

Jesus Saves

One day God called Jesus and his helpers into a meeting.

God said that he wanted them to create a data base on heaven�s super computer.

He said He wanted them to list everyone who had ever been born and all the good and bad things that each had done since the beginning of time.

They all said they could do that and so they sat at their keyboards for hours, then days and weeks.

Finally they were almost done when there was a power failure in heaven and the computers all went off. Only seconds later the lights came back on and all the computers started to re-boot. There was much crying and gnashing of teeth and pounding of keyboards as this happened. Down at the end of the table sat Jesus with a big smile on His face.

Why was Jesus smiling amongst all this dismay?

Jesus Saves!